The United States has become a blend of countless cultures, but the holiday season seems to unite us. Most of us have our fond memories of opening gifts on Christmas morning. We stayed up until ridiculous hours on Christmas Eve in a vain attempt to catch a glimpse of Jolly ol’ St. Nick. We went caroling. We decorated the inside of the house, the outside of the house. We even decorated the mailbox as if the poor mail carriers weren’t already well aware of the impending season by all of those Sears catalogs and the fierce onslaught of Christmas cards.
Ah yes, what a wonderful time of year. From Thanksgiving Day to the first day of the New Year, all Americans take part in some sort of major holiday. Naturally this is a time where Christmas is celebrated by those who identify as Christians, while Hanukkah is celebrated by our Jewish friends. I’m always amazed at how many people can read their calendar in September and think that Yom Kippur rhymes with “Tom Chipper.”
Some melting pot. We expect everyone to do our thing the way we do it. We want Christmas to be celebrated by everyone, whether they believe in Christ or Santa Claus. But when something doesn’t go our way, things can go sour really quick.
“So what can I get for David for Christmas,” my mother’s friend once asked.
“Oh, he likes Snoopy. Try something like that,” she replied. With that, Nancy had her mission. To her, I was the cute little blonde boy with a hearing aid that lived down the street. Her daughter was a friend of mine, which was no big deal when in the first grade. Gender has no meaning. Neither does race. It was a time of true innocence and wonder.
Well, at least it was wonder until I opened the present she gave me. It was a snoopy record. I looked at it, flipped it around in my hands for a few seconds and scrunched up my little nose.
“What’s this for?” I said. I was deaf, for crying out loud. Why would I want a record without the read-along-book? My mother’s perfect, sweet, innocent little boy had just turned into her worst nightmare. She didn’t know whether to hide or to rip my head off. She wanted to do both. But poor Nancy, she took her gift back and never looked at me the same way again.
For some reason, I didn’t get a lump of coal in my stocking that Christmas morning. I know I should have. I probably got some Legos or some Star Wars trinket. But no Snoopy records. I realize now how selfish I was at the time, but what child isn’t selfish? That’s childhood. We want everything now. We want it our way. We want to walk into the living room and get our big gifts pre-assembled and ready to use.
The question is, how many of us have carried that same mindset into adulthood? Or even worse, how many of us have the same mindset in activism? We want to have our lovers, our pride parades, our clubs and bookstores. But if it’s not a perfect fit for our ideal, we’ll scrunch up our nose. We want marriage, and we want it now. We want everyone to accept us no matter what, but do we accept those that we don’t like?
Of course we don’t. They’re beneath us, aren’t they? After all, they’re the bigots and we’re the queers right? It’s us and them. We want them to be like us. Is it really all that different than someone turning up their nose at a Snoopy record or a different religious expression during the holiday season?
If there’s one thing the holiday season does for all of us is that it gives everyone a chance to realize that “us and them” is really “we.” We’re all in this thing called life together. And while we’re singing about peace and goodwill toward men, maybe we should consider that it applies to us as well. As we look to the New Year and the challenges that face us as a community, we must realize that the marriage “protection” amendment will affect all of us, gay or straight.
Yes, we have a huge fight ahead of us in 2006, but if we’re only in it for our own benefit, then we end up looking like a bunch of pretentious queers who just want to rock the boat. On the other hand, if we can show the evidence of how enshrining discrimination into the Tennessee constitution affects everyone, then our victory is for everyone. And then, we can be the melting pot with a splash of rainbow. That would be a holiday worth celebrating.
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What a nice world we would have if everyone acted like they do between Thanksgiving and Christmas. People seem to take an extra second to smile or say hello or hold the door open for someone.
Eleven months out of the year we are all wrapped up in our own world, often too self absorbed to even make eye contact with others.
Next year, do yourself a favour and remember to act like you do during the Christmas season. Smile at a stranger. Hold that door open. There is no reason that the Christmas season must end on January 1st.
Sometimes we forget and become what we loathe . . . sometimes “them” becomes “us.” I think you captured that idea beautifully in your blog.
Activism and the voice of dissent carries with it an incredible responsibility to not become the polar opposite of what it seeks to reform. Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King did more for racial equality than Louis Fericon or the Black Panthers, their actions and voices simply reminding a normally disinterested “middle of the road” person that there is something really wrong outside of their insulated box. In seeing injustice, they want to do the right thing and help, but if there is no room for the regular guy in the new world vision of the activist, he will most likely do nothing (or even go to the other side.)
David, your words offer a much needed warning . . .good job!
I do so agree with Ian. Have often wondered why the good spirit which I believe comes from Christ himself is not shown the year around. Well I hope that everyone who reads this post and the comments makes up their minds to do just that. Not only will they be healthier and happier, but true
Christians as well. Biddy
Very interesting, some humor and also endearing. Rad, you broke a leg.
Golly Rad, on the one that was lost I signed my name. Sorry.
Keep up the good work, man you have talent. Demure