It’s a question that is rarely asked out loud; a question to which most people assume they already know the answer; whether they’re Christian or not. But there are a great many people that have it in the back of their minds: “can a person be gay and a Christian?”
Naturally, the first impulse answer is a resounding, “no.” After all, we’re told such awful and horrible things about gay and lesbian people that there’s no possible way that such “abominations” could ever even be interested in worshiping the Lord Jesus Christ. What’s more, we’re told that homosexuals have hundreds of sex partners in their lives, and that’s all that runs their lives. Their sexual expression is allegedly their only expression.
This is the image that we’ve been given from pulpits and religious broadcasters for decades. But the question I must ask is whether or not we’re willing to explore this critical question fairly. Again I ask, can a person be gay and a Christian?
Those of us who have struggled with this issue personally know how devastating it can be in our lives. Thousands of people have gone through “ex-gay” ministries only to leave them more confused and emotionally torn than before. Robert Spitzer said in a recent American Psychiatric Association study that it is indeed “possible” for a gay person to change their sexual orientation, but it would be extremely rare and difficult. The study also said that most people can not change their inherent orientation because it is, in fact, inherent. (Edit – 11/19/2011: Since this article was written, the APA has denounced “reparative therapy” as harmful and dangerous. It’s quack pseudoscience that drives the “ex-gay” bunch, and several of its leaders have come out as gay and are leading happy, healthy lives as gay men and women.)
But it’s those “possibilities” that many gay-struggling Christians latch on to in the fleeting hope of ripping out a core part of their lives. Since they have already told themselves that they can not be gay and Christian, they therefore believe they must exhaust every possible measure to “fix” themselves. They pray, they agonize, they struggle, and even go through “ex-gay” ministries. They pray some more. They sometimes even ask to have the “gay demon” cast out of them.
But they never stop to ask if they can reconcile their sexual orientation and their faith. Can they? In order to accurately answer this question, we must begin with a common frame of reference and definitions of the words that are being discussed. I know it can seem a little patronizing, but like Jesus, we need to be willing to put the ax to the root of the tree.
First, let’s define “gay.” A person who is gay is attracted physically, emotionally, romantically, and sexually to members of the same sex as they are. In short, it is their “sexual orientation.” Please note that a gay person is not defined by their sexual activity, but by their sexual orientation.
A “Christian” is defined as a person who is a follower of Christ and the teachings of Christ. This is true of any Christian, no matter their denomination.
With these elements in mind, we can begin to break down the “gay Christian” debate into some practical understanding. Quite simply, most Christians who happen to be gay are in monogamous relationships, celibate, or just plain frustrated with life. I believe it doesn’t have to be that way. This is a discussion that has often been dismissed outright if not scorned. All the while, there are countless people who have chosen to reject either their faith or their sexuality, assuming them to be incompatible. As a result, they are unfulfilled and often torn between those two elements in their lives.
Christ said he came so that we might have life and have it more abundantly. Isn’t it possible that if indeed the Lord gave a person their sexual orientation, that He would have someone for them? And isn’t it possible for a person who is gay to find and embrace the saving grace and power of the Lord Jesus Christ?
Pastors and Christian leaders have often quoted six passages in Scripture, all of which are ripped from their original context, to condemn gay people as “abominations.” Some refer to Sodom and Gomorrah, others to Leviticus, and others invoke Romans or 1 Corinthians. The passages have been used as clobber verses at the expense of people who have been rejected in culture for years.
Thankfully, we are learning more about the reality of sexual orientation and we are learning more about Scripture. We know that God has called us to love even the unloved, and the gay and lesbian population is beginning to see the fruit of that.
I don’t have the space to adequately address each of the “clobber passages” that are so often used against the gay population, but it’s fair to say that we need to be able to look at them objectively and dare to ask whether or not our long-held beliefs about them are even true. If Scripture is indeed the final authority in the Church, we should at the very least understand it in its proper context.
In the end, those of us in the Church must be willing to have this discussion openly, and we must embrace all who name the name of Jesus. Jesus came for the rejected, the scorned, and the humiliated. And yes, He came for you. Even if you’re gay.
Note: This is the introduction of a special series on The Bible and Homosexuality. The links below are other installments:
- Part 1: Can a person be gay and a Christian?
- Part 2: Exploring Romans 1:26-27
- Part 3: What was Sodom & Gomorrah all about?
- Part 4: All those abominations! Leviticus uncovered
- Part 5: 1 Corinthians 6:9-10…who inherits the Kingdom?
- Part 6: David & Jonathan
- Part 7: Other Biblical stories of note
- Part 8: How then shall we live?
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30 Responses to Can a person be gay and a Christian?
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David! That was very well written. I admire your tenacity to break things down logically. Bravo!
Very nice piece. I don’t think I will ever understand why some believe that you can’t be a christian based on your sexual orientation. I guess years ago, folks also thought some couldn’t be christian because of the color of their skin.
Christianity should be all inclusive, but some I think, are worried that if people they don’t agree with are let in, there will be no room for them in heaven…..
You’ve brought up a lot of good points so far, David!
I think it would behoove us to not ask, “can a person be gay and Christian?” – but to ask, “can a person reconcile their urges to maintain a goodly life?” That does sound a bit harsh, but consider that sexuality is an expression of desire. Human beings are sexual creatures, no matter what their orientation is. Heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual – we all have the responsibility to take control of our own lives so that we do not destroy our bodies due to desires fulfilled in excess: sex, drugs, food, tobacco, caffeine, adrenaline etc.
The model of Christian behavior is, of course, Christ, who told us that we should be like him – full of mercy and compassion for our fellow mankind. We are to live our lives for God, striving to be an asset to the world rather than a burden. We, as Christians, are to share the message of the Gospels. Too many people forget these commandments simply because they feel it is their duty to tear down others who they deem as unworthy of Christ’s love.
IMHO, being a “gay Christian” is a misnomer (:::running in terror from Rad!::: Don’t hurt me!). We are to be Christians (for Christ) first. Therefore, I do not accept the label of “gay” or “straight” before that word – or any other word. Were my parents gay, I would not introduce them as “please meet my gay father” or “lesbian mother”. If David was my pastor, I would not think of him as “my gay pastor”. My old coworker was heterosexual, yet I never thought of her as “my straight lab partner”. Hence – my brothers and sisters in Christ who are of homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual orientation are simply my brothers and sisters in Christ, and I love them as God loves them (as God loves us all.) Those Christians who can’t accept this are in for a rough time in life. You see, there are Christians who are gay, straight, white, black, Jewish, handicapped/disabled, celibate, poor, rich, homeless, blind, congressmen, housewives, researchers, pastors, priests, Chinese, etcetera – what we are is not important. Who we are through our Lord, Jesus Christ, is.
The ‘ex-gay’ ministries don’t work for a lot of ppl. They confuse more than they help, and leave some ppl with anger and bitterness for God.
Amen, amen and amen to ‘In the end, those of us in the Church must be willing to have this discussion openly, and we must embrace all who name the name of Jesus. Jesus came for the rejected, the scorned, and the humiliated. And yes, He came for you. Even if you’re gay.’ Jesus did come for all people, not just a few people or only non-sinners. Salvation is for all of us… gay or straight.
Thanks for the Biblical account of homosexuality.
Human beings will do what they feel is right, however, it seems that it has come to the point that gays, female and male, have taken the upper hand on society on a global scale.
It’s a blessing to have found this blog. Mine is completely written in Spanish…Any way as Spanish catholic being homosexual and Christian all together is not quite easy, and above all if you take part of the activitis in your church…any way I’ll follw this page and i’ll try to post everytime that I have a good idea to share…Once again thanks…
The correct answer to the question, “Can one be gay and a Christian”, is absolutely no way. First of all the reason we don’t observe all of the laws of the Old Testament is simple. It is not that we pick and choose. It is because the Old Testament was written for the Jews of that age. During that time the nation of Israel was a theocracy, meaning they were governed by the laws of God. The Jews were “God’s Chosen People” and they still are today. However, they are no longer living under a theocracy, because they have been scattered around the world, because of their rejection of Christ.
When God chose the Jews as his people, He separated them from other peoples, by holding them to higher standards. These standards included laws pertaining to: worship, marriage, raising children, sacrifice, diet, agriculture, hygiene, clothing, religious days, and religious rituals, basically all facets of life. God was preparing the Jews to become the evangelists to the world and He has done a marvelous job. If you look at the Bible, you will notice that almost all of it was written by the Jews, both Old and New Testaments. How many people has the message of the Bible reached? Billions!
In the Old Testament when God says, “You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female”, He then adds, “it is an abomination.” First God explains it is a sin and not to do it and then for emphasis he says it is disgusting or hated by Him. When God goes to that extent, to say something is an abomination, he is letting you know it is totally taboo.
Many years after Jesus dies and is risen The New Testament is written. The New Testament is written not just for the Jews but for all of mankind. It is the message of the Good News (Gospels), that all can be saved by repenting of your sins and believing in Christ. Does God change his mind about homosexuality in the New Testament? Well, first of all in Malachi 3:6, it says that God does not change.
In Romans 1:21-32, it speaks of those who have heard the message of God and know what He requires of them, but because they prefer their earthly pleasures, they worship earthly Idols (people, animals, ideas, philosophies, behaviors). Will God judge them for it? He has already judged them for it: Romans 1:24 Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them. In Romans 1:25, it says: For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.
The truth of God is that all who repent of their sins and ask Jesus to become their Lord and Savior can and will be saved. The lie in this case is saying that homosexuality is a sexual orientation, that one is born that way and there is no way out of it, rather than tell the truth, that it is an unnatural behavior that is just another sin. If someone really wanted to rid themselves of it, they would pray to God earnestly and ask Him to remove those urges and He would. Matthew 19:26 says: “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Do you believe that? I do! If you don’t believe that, you better examine your faith.
Brothers and sisters, a loving God would not create us in such a way that the sin He calls an abomination is an irresistible part of our genetic blueprint and then forbid us to commit that sin.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 says: Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.
No one who remains in their sin willfully and unrepentant (whether homosexual or heterosexual) will see the kingdom of heaven. But here is the Good News, “ANYONE” (whether homosexual or heterosexual) who repents of their sins (that means to have a change of heart and stop committing those sins) and asks Jesus to become their Lord and Savior, WILL BE SAVED!!!!!!!
S. J. O’Malley
Yes, my friends… this is what happens when someone is in love with their pet doctrines more than reasoning.
I have an open policy on comments, as long as the individual does not make direct attacks, comments are welcome. This person’s opinion is one with which I obviously disagree (on so many levels). Apparently, he (or she) chose to post their bitterness rather than read on to learn more about the very Scriptures they mentioned.
This is not at all unusual.
Clearly, some people believe that homosexuality is something that a person can just “pray away” like a rash, or any other disease or sinful act. Sadly, many GLBT people have agonized and prayed over tear-stained pillows for years that God will “make them straight” before they either embrace their God-given sexual orientation or just break down emotionally.
The very core of the discussion is whether or not a person’s sexual orientation is inherent. In a future post, I’ll discuss some of the evidence to that effect.
Yes, we can know the truth. And the truth will set us free!
– David
As I understand the issue, it is never a question of which sinners can be saved….every saved person who has come to Christ is a sinner and every type of sinner that has ever lived has and can be saved, including homosexuals.It is a fact: those who come to Christ will be changed; that is they will be made more like Him. Furthermore it will be His work; “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it…”
The light of the world has made a home within every believer…He will shine that light in every area within us…and we shall see ourselves more clearly by that light the longer we walk with the Lord. If He is Lord we will learn to be more like Him one of two ways….willingly or unwillingly. Through obedience or through Godly discipline. Keep in mind it is His work to perform. He will in fact complete it; that is His promise, if indeed we are His.
Having myself been the recipient of Gods divine discipline it is my wish that none other ever endure it. Nevertheless, I say again, if anyone is truly His that person will not long deny the Lords will for his life. It is far wiser to heed the Word of God and the light He shines within us….
God is not impotent, He is not blind, He is not mocked, He is not decieved, He does not deny His Word,….And He often breaks our will.
If we are indeed His, He will do this out of love. We will not like it…especially while we are in the midst of chastisement. He will often crush us completely so He can begin to mold us again in His own image. He will have our complete attention then. We will not desire to go against His will in that area of chastisement again. We will, however, thank Him later.
I will not quote scripture; where the Word of God speaks on homosexuality , no doubt you are already familiar, well versed, and resolved. In any case, others have already done that. Those who have reached out with a clarion call of warning, have done so in love, as do I. We are not enemies. We are fellow sinners. If Christ is in each of us then we are much more; we are brothers, and if brothers we are at the very least friends. Ought we not act as friends? A friend will tell you the truth even when it hurts…an enemy will tell you what you want to hear.
Satan is our common enemy. He will deny Gods Word when and wherever he can. Even more ,he will lead us astray where the Word of God is concerned. He will attack each of us in our particular area of weakness.
He will do this to destroy our testimony. He will do this to break fellowship between ourselves and our Lord and between ourselves and our fellow believers. He will do this to lead those to whom we witness astray…He is a liar and seeks to divide…once he has us alone we are his easy prey.
Finally…and most importantly, the pastor is always held accountable for what he teaches…he has the greater responsiblity….and how he shepherds Gods people will most surley be reckoned with one day. We will not have an excuse. We will stand naked before His gaze and we will see ourselves as we truly are. We will stand before the very Word of God and it will judge us, and it will judge us especially where and how we postured ourselves to it here in this life. Better to humble ourselves here and now than it is to stand in pride against it; for if we stand in pride now we will fall in shame later….
We are all in His capable hands…if Christ be in us.We must strive for His TRUTH and His WILL…not because we are slaves but because we love Him and are His family. We love Him because He first loved us and died for our sins. Should we then love our sins and hang onto them? While we may struggle with them and, God forbid, even fail, ought we not repent and seek forgiveness? He is faithful to forgive us.
It is when we lay down and cease to strive, when we kid ourselves that everything is alright, when we justify oursleves against His Word, when we stand in pride against Him, when we deny His clear will and purpose for our lives….well somewhere we have made a wrong turning. Progress will not be made in obstinancy where sin is concerned.Pride will be dealt with. Pride must be dealt with ,but in any case where sin is concerned progress will not be a stubborn straight ahead path. That is a path away from Gods will. Progress is made the sooner we acknowledge our error AND TURN AROUND THE OTHER WAY. This is repentance. And this is our duty.
In His love
M. Payette
Well, M. Payette has brought up some wonderful points that I think have a lot of merit.
I simply love the quote, “He who began a good work in you will finish it.” Amen. We are all the workmanship of our creator… and He has indeed begun a work in all of us.
Sadly, the mantra is changed little. “Those who come to Christ will be changed.” This is simply not true for thousands of people who go through ex-gay ministries or similar struggles. Someone like this might belittle their faith as insufficient. “They should have tried harder,” they say.
Here’s the reality, my friends. Either the grace of God is sufficient, or it isn’t. It’s really that simple.
For those of you who are running Scriptures about “what is so clear” about same-sex relationships, I encourage you to read through the rest of this series.
My stance is quite simple. God’s call on our lives is to live for Him and to share His love to anyone. No exceptions. That means anyone.
That call is without repentance, and for those of us who are gay, we have an extra burden of walking between two worlds that seem to be completely contradictory… but they are not.
More later!
The grace of God is sufficient always…Sometimes it is through grace God chooses to discipline us.His will?…It will certainly be completed in us one way or the other.Willingly, reluctantly…you choose.
When he gives us specific instructions it is always unwise to turn from them. Jonah was given specific instructions.That is he was given Gods Word. That is he knew Gods Word. That is he understood Gods Word. He was to go east and speak Gods Word,a warning to Nineveh. Jonah turned around, notice he didnt just stay where he was….No indeed …Jonah went west.
Gods Word was not to Jonahs liking. Gods Will was not to Jonahs liking…Gods discipline will not be to Jonahs liking either.
No believer who hears Gods Word ever stays still. You are either going forward or you are backsliding. Jonah didnt just go against Gods Word. He fell asleep when He should have been praying.
And consequently he was no earthly good to the lost and needy around him. Even the heathen were praying to his shame.
Furthermore,Jonah did not sin in a bubble…He brought judgement on his fellow travelers.We never sin without communal consequences.
Obviously it would have been easier to have simply done Gods will in the first place. He certainly accomplished Gods will in the end….I often wonder what Jonah looked like after three days in the fishes belly…I suspect he carried the scars for the rest of his life.
In anycase, God first had to WAKE Jonah up.He certainly got Jonahs attention.
God most certainly turned Jonah around.
God certainly judged Jonahs disobedience.
God certainly accomplished His will and purpose for Jonahs life.
God certainly accomplished HIS Word in Jonah and through Jonah; and has even left it for our instruction now.In a real sense Jonah still speaks today!!!!!
The result?
God used Jonah when Jonah yielded his will to Gods will.
Nineveh was saved from judgement through Jonahs obedience.
We have been made wiser through Jonahs folly.
Like Jonah you have the Word of God.
Like Jonah you know and have heard Gods word directly.
Like Jonah you are not standing idle.You are now in the very act of reacting to Gods Word, that is you are either moving forward or running from it.
God knows which.
You can’t hide or sleep through it and neither can you escape HIM.
You have only two choices.
Choose…
But before you do….
Remember the lesson of Nineveh?
They, like Jonah heard Gods word.
AND irony of ironies, how ironic indeed.
Unlike Jonah…Wait a minute… unlike Jonah?…did you notice?Unlike Jonah they repented right then and there…..Isnt that odd?
And as a result they escaped judgement.
I say isnt that odd because it is odd. Jonah heard Gods Word directly and disobeyed it.
They heard it second hand and obeyed it.Which leads to a very important conclusion….
We who have Christ in us, The very WORD of God Himself….We are without excuse, for the Word of God is now first hand knowledge.We are in the know, or rather the Know is in us.
May God help us…
May God lavish us in His Grace…
May God give us the grace to respond to His Word as Nineveh did.
In His Grace
M. Payette
This is why I began this series in the first place. Such self-proclaimed “prophets” not only abuse Scripture to the point to where it is unrecognizable, but often elevate themselves to be “the voice of God.”
Sadly, when such mindsets are exposed for what they are, I can only shake my head. This person’s post borders on delusions of grandeur; but it clearly illustrates the passions that many “Christians” will verbally abuse those in the GLBT community. We see it all the time from Dobson, Falwell, and now this person.
Yes, my friends, I have chosen. I choose to follow Christ. Not someone’s opinion and certainly not their sacred cow of opinions based on ripping Scripture out of their original contexts to fit their pet agenda, which is hate.
Sadly, such people will continue their attacks. They have proclaimed themselves to be God’s mouthpieces. This isn’t much different than we see from Fred Phelps and his “www.godhatesfags.com” website.
Indeed, they have allowed themselves to be distracted from the true religion “caring for widows and orphans” as it says in James, but have instead given themselves over to legalistic Bible abuse and verbal violence on those they see as the lowest of the low.
Jesus called this hypocracy. Such people will “search the world over for a convert and turn him into twice the son of hell that [they] are.” Even though they literally saw the incarnate Christ standing before them, they saw him as nothing more than a threat to their way of life.
The reality is that Scripture is indeed clear. Jesus said in John 15:15 that “if you love me, you will obey what I command (NIV).” Many of our legalist friends will say, “AHAH! See! Jesus Himself sad we have to keep the commandments!” No, that’s not what he said. Which is why we have to read the Scriptures… in context.
John 15 and 16 are one long passage and is one single exchange between Jesus and the disciples. It takes him a while to get to the point, but he makes it in John 16:17: “This is my command. Love each other (NIV).”
Jesus set the example for us. Those of us who are called as Christians are also called to minister to the hurting and wounded; those who have been hurt by vicious false prophets like the one who’s posted here. They have seen this message as a threat, and they have attacked it. Tragically, they have presumed that God’s will is that we hate ourselves to such an extent that we embrace what I call “Constipated Christianity.”
We simply MUST press on… to mend the brokenhearted; to comfort those who grieve; to bring light to the darkness.
This is a call on all of us. The flaming arrows of hate and Bible abuse will continue to fly. Those of us who have ever been rejected from churches or “religion” as a whole have a special calling and a kind of grace that can stand in the face of this violent onslaught… to love.
Thank you JESUS. Your grace is sufficient!
David,
This series is absolutely incredible! What does disappoint me is to see the reaction of some to it. Words cannot express how I am saddened to see people who choose to be bigots in the name of God.
While you are reaching out to bring more and more disenfranchised people TO God, others are doing their best to drive them away. YOU are the one doing God’s work. Never forget that.
Those that choose to hate in the name of God are unworthy of your patience.
God Bless!
When Mark Twain was asked whether he believed in infant baptism, he replied: “Believe in it? Hell, I’ve SEEN it!”.
My answer to the question “Can a person be gay and a Christian?” is “CAN they? Hell, I AM gay and a Christian!”
kvcgtnIf coming to Christ does not change us from the former things we lived in than Christ is died in vain as Paul has said. You make the Word of God of no effect by YOUR dogma and by YOUR pet doctrine, David. Reasoning has no place with the Christian. Faith saves you and that by the grace of God. When He truly saves you and you truly become a Christian, your life changes! Yes, it does! You no longer desire the same old things. When I got saved the very first thing I realized was that I needed a haircut. I had hair down past my shoulders. There is Bible for that, too, David. I also came under conviction of smoking cigarettes. Those were the next things to go. But you seem to like to sidestep what the Lord our God has told you so plainly by the hand of many good and true witnesses. Hooray to Payette and Omalley! I say again Hooray to them! They are absolutely correct and have given you the best possible answers to this question.
Love, that is, the Love of God, is first and foremost corrective. God does not want the sinner to live in the filth of the flesh once that one is saved. He cleans them up and fills them with His holy spirit. But He will not fill a dirty vessel with His spirit. That would just be a terrible thing. Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost and you are no longer your own? You have been bought with a price, with the precious blood of Jesus Christ. Therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit! If quoting the Word of God condemns than it is obvious that there is still sin in your life. These men are truly Born-Again Christians who exhort you to repent and be born again.
Any “direct attack” that has been made, David, has been made by you on the Bible. Or else you and I do not read the same Bible. Maybe you have one of those watered-down versions that strip it of the real truth and let you live in your filthy lifestyle without the least bit of consciousness of sin. God may indeed have given you over to your vile lifestyle. No, David, I won’t mince words. Sin is sin. Deal with it. Grow up! This blog serves nothing but your flesh! I’m sad that you have been so deceived by that lying devil, David. Be ye holy for I am holy saith the Lord. Without holiness no man shall see God. Rev.20:12-15 I will be praying for you, and I challenge you, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, to post this comment on your blog! God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind!
I happen to believe that a homosexual can be a Christian. I also believe that homosexuality is a sin according to God’s word (and I’m not talking about the homosexuals version of the Bible). That being said, will I now be criticized for speaking my mind as so many others have?
I’m sick to death of people saying that those who don’t agree with one’s sexual orientation are hateful, for shame. If one doesn’t agree with your opinion or belief or line of reasoning or lifestyle suddenly they are hateful? If this is what you think, I suggest you do some self-analysis, perhaps it’s a pride problem. But don’t lump me into your pile of hateful creatures just because you have had bad experiences with other people.
I love all God’s people regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation.
Tenderness, your post was as compassionate as it was passionate. I could never criticize that or your opinion.
In fact, some GLBT people also believe that gay sexual relationships is sin, and thus make a conscious choice to remain celibate.
Thats not the path I took, and my partner and I are as committed to each other as we are to God.
I think we can agree to disagree on that issue. Again, thank you for your thoughtful post.
Once again, His grace is sufficient.
The short answer is, “of course.” For one thing, the Bible does not speak to modern day same-sex relationships. For a good book, see “What the Bible REALLY says about homosexuality” by Daniel Helminiak. For another thing, Christians all interpret the Bible, ALL do it – so that they can avoid complying with passages with which they disagree, about, say, women being silent in church, or the only acceptable hairstyles for men and women. So even if there ARE passages that condemn homoerotic activity as it existed in Paul’s day, the question becomes: who gets to decide which passages everyone must follow to be Christian, and which ones we can disregard, explain away as “context specific,” or interpret as radically different from what they seem to say? Who? This question gets to the heart of the topic of Biblical Authority, which is interpreted in widely different ways by Christians – a Coptic Christian in Egypt will disagree with a Maronite Christian in Lebanon, will disagree with a Pentecostal in Brazil, will disagree with a Mainline Protestant in the U.S. – and there are huge debates WITHIN all of those traditions as well. So, ultimately, there is no ONE Christian answer about homosexuality, just as there is no ONE Christian answer about much of anything, despite what the WCC might imply. If we go to Jesus, the obvious center of being Christian, we have no recorded comments about homosexuality at all. He didn’t give us a list of rules to follow, probably because that excludes the activity of the Holy Spirit to continue speaking, and it forces us to THINK rather than just following a list of do’s and don’t's. Jesus supposedly said (remember, our gospel accounts are by no means historically exact!) that the most important commandments are to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love our neighbors as ourselves. That leads us to the question – how do we do THAT regarding homosexuality? And the answer, to increasing numbers of Christians, is this: God made people in varying degrees of homosexuality and heterosexuality as part of a beautiful rainbow of diversity in creation, all equally in God’s image, all equally precious, cherished, and celebrated. Thus, LGBT Christians are a necessary part of the church, to represent the full humanity God created, to stretch Christianity to include a more complete theology and perspective, and to embody Christ and the Holy Spirit in unique ways that are vital to the wider church. The church should not just “tolerate” LGBT Christians – it NEEDS them. For a good book on THIS topic, see Christine Smith’s book “Preaching as weeping, confession, and resistance: a radical response to radical evil.” Also check out the site http://www.religioustolerance.org for a great breakdown of the Biblical arguments, from both sides. Trelawney Grenfell-Muir
I would like to keep this comment anomynous. If my parents found out I was gay I would be kicked out on the streets devoid of all hope I had in a future. When I was little I thought life as a Christian would be so easy, I just went to church everyone would love me. I would marry, have children, and well… I would go to heaven. Sadly life has all but slipped from under me. When I was thirteen I found out I had attractions toward men and not women. I felt so confused, I felt like dying, I hated GOD, I HATE HIM! I grabbed a knife and cut myself really badly, closing my eyes, letting the tears flow, screaming to God to make me straight. Yet when I awoke the next morning, I was still gay, the scars from last night reminded me of the tension, the battle over if it was a sin or not. All I hear is white noise, everyday, I feel so confused. All you people posting here saying pray to God and he will make you straight, YOU ARE WRONG! I have cut myself, tried choking myself, nearing death a little too many times. I can barely see my viens anymore, I have prayed, cried and injured myself and so much screaming to God to rid me of my orientation. Then just this past four months, I had a vision in my sleep, God was at the gate of heaven and looking down on me, and he said, “I love you for who you are, and he embraced me.” Whether that was an actual dream or vision from God or my self created image during my deep sleep. I finally accepted myself. I tried to be straight, you bigots posting on here having no sympathy whatsoever, if you were in our position, would you think differently. It’s not that easy, believe me I tried as much as possible to change, but the whole time, I did that, God told me the opposite, and he pointed me here, a wonderful site, where for the first time, I can feel welcome, a feeling I never encounter within my church, or my youth group. My life has been a whirlwind, I have been sexually harrassed by professed Christian teenagers, and they did not even know I was gay. MY parents say everyday, how if God gives them a fag as a son, they will kill him. Everyday I cry, feeling trapped within a prism. I have come out to some of my friends, yet I am always afraid somebody will found out, and people all around me will suddenly think of me as some pervert. I am sad, and very miserable, I never go to bed smiling. I hope God gives me a better day. But for now, I stay in my chamber, where I wait for God to finally set me free, from the Christian community who keeps the key to the chest that holds my true self locked away inside a dungeon. David you truly are a gift of God, your site has helped me so much!
Thanks!
Anonymous, thank you for posting. In fact, you are one of the many reasons why I put this series together, no matter how imperfect it might be. So many of us have felt like we’re “trapped in a prism” in our lives because of our sexual orientation. As a result, we feel more and more like aliens to the world around us.
The one thing I can suggest to you is this: Look to Jesus. Keep your eyes on HIM. Don’t look to the vile, bitter words of those who write and preach hate. Look to Jesus. He is the Author and Finisher of our faith, and he will bring you to a place where His peace will reign.
That’s the funny thing about God’s peace… we sense it the most when the world around us is spinning like a vortex. It’s what the Bible calls a “peace that surpasses” our understanding.
That’s my prayer for you, and for anyone who reads this series on homosexuality and Christianity.
Again, thank you.
Hey David.
I wish to remain anonymous because should my parents or certain relatives ever find out, I would be kicked out of the house and disowned. I have had to endure numerous anti-gay rants from my parents, about how they are morally wrong and corrupt, how preaching acceptance/tolerance is wrong, that society is not accepting towards gays, and that there is no way to be Christian and Gay.
I am 16 and I have hard time even saying the word “lesbian” to myself when I’m alone. It just hurts so much to have to hide part of who I am from my parents. However, I want to be able to see my siblings, know my parents, and go to university; things I would be denied should I come out.
The bible says that all sin is equal, that the sin of homosexuality is equal to the sin of lying or other sexual immorality. It states that we will be forgiven our sins, but we are told not repeat them.
I know I cant change what I am, though it causes me daily pain. In your series you mentioned that there are LGBT Christians who live celibate. I have no one to talk to, because if I raise this topic too often, my parents get suspicious. They have asked me once already what my sexual preference was, and I sat there crying as I lied. I told them that I was questioning, and they gave me what they assumed was a soothing lecture on how it was just a phase, its normal, and I would eventually work it out and come to the right decision.
Is it possible for God to forgive me for loving another female? For having a relationship with her? Or should I stay celibate, never having that love because its wrong? How do I choose between going against my faith or giving up on certain dreams?
Anonymous #2, thank you for the courage to write. I know just how hard it is to look in the mirror when there are so many horrible things that are said about gay and lesbian people. But take courage, my friend. God’s love for you is far more than any of us could imagine.
Here’s the real question, though: Is love sinful? I submit to you that there is absolutely no Biblical condemnation whatsoever… of loving, committed, monogamous same-sex relationships.
Is it a sin to love someone of your own gender? Absolutely not. I know, that’s a hard pill to swallow when you’re told just the opposite by so many others.
But, here’s the thing. Which is the greater sin… to find love in a healthy relationship, or to live a lie just to please everyone else?
Food for thought.
On coming out, only YOU can know when it’s the right time. You might want to visit http://www.hrc.org for some great tips there.
On the topic of “ex-gay ministries,” proceed with EXTREME caution. The American Psychiatric Association (and a plethora of other professional groups) has condemned the practice as dangerous and potentially harmful. Visit http://www.exgaywatch.com for more information there.
Again, thanks for writing! My prayers go with you in your walk.
One other thought:
You might want to seek out some credible, confidential therapy to help you come to terms with your own sexuality. A good therapist will help you to work through the struggle and to gain confidence in this VERY trying time.
Whatever you do, make sure that the therapist is not associated with NARTH or other anti-gay groups. They’re aligned with the “ex-gay ministries” and can actually do more harm than good.
Very thoughtful.
I don’t see how a homosexual/bisexual/whatever could TRULY be a Christian because when you are saved by God’s grace, you’re supposed to repent of all your sins and turn towards the Lord’s ways (I’m not saying everyone will become perfect because perfectionism is a unobtainable trait for all humans). Homosexuality is a sin…a constant sin that people attatch theirselves to. The question is: If you know it is a sin and is an abomination, why be that way?
It clearly says in the Bible that it is a sin:
“If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman,
both of them have committed an abomination: they shall
surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.”
Leviticus 20:13, KJV
“Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.” Leviticus 18:22, KJV
I am not discriminating gays/lesbians/bisexuals…I actually have a close friend who is gay (yes, he knows my views on homosexuality). Jesus always taught us to love EVERYONE because He loves everyone (whether heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, etc…) Himself; that’s why He died for us…ALL of us! He loves us all!
Yet…I don’t see how homo/bisexuals can TRULY be saved. If you are willing to give up your sins and turn towards God, can you not also give up your homo/bisexual ways?
Some people believe that people are born homo/bisexual…that there is some DNA gene that makes them that way. Does this mean that people also thinks that God may have created a homo/bisexual gene in a person, even though it is an abomination? He has not! So, how is there a “homosexual gene” in existance? I believe that these people chose to be homo/bisexual way due to confusion or some other sociological/psychiological factors.
I think that homo/bisexuals just need to pray to God for the answer. I am not saying that praying for help will help these people overnight, but it’s probably the only way for a solution. Don’t give up hope, don’t ever give up on the Lord.
God bless…
Kelli, I think this is probably the root of the discussion on the entire gay/Christian debate.
Your position is that being gay or lesbian is inherently sinful. I disagree – strongly. Further, “gay or lesbian ways” can mean a great many things; many Christians understand that a person’s ORIENTATION is just that – their orientation.
The two major sides in the gay Christian debate is a) God blesses loving, committed, monogamous same-sex unions, and b) God calls gays to celibacy. many of us who are Christians who happen to be gay will embrace one of these two sides. In fact, this pretty much models the overall discussion as well.
The fact is that we HAVE prayed to God for the answer – many, many times. It’s a little presumptuous to think otherwise. Further, I suggest that you read the rest of this series to see just how the Leviticus passages apply in today’s Christianity.
Here’s a hint: They don’t.
Thanks for your post! Even though we disagree, I know the Lord will guide us all into a positive, blessed discussion so that we can all walk in love and grace!
David,
Loved your post on profanity. I totally agree.
My Christian friends and I wrestle with the current topic. As a straight person with a lot of gay friends; the primary issue is the gay male definition of “monogamy,” which, as you know, differs from the one in the dictionary. If I google “gay male definition of monogamy” the million-plus answers are pretty clear. Gay males think traditional monogamy is simply problematic and that’s why straight people always get divorced. For me, if I had sex with someone during my lunch hour, but still came home that night, it would not be ‘OK’ with my spouse. As for lining up with scripture, I don’t see it happening. Of course, if we were all like Solomon, we could just practice polygamy and have a thousand spouses. That would get rid of the ‘only having sex with one person problem.’
Gay people can definitely be Christians, it’s just harder for them. Everything is harder for them. But hey, it just got a little easier in New York.
Anonymous 2000
I’m a 33 y/o Puerto Rican gay Christian man. Since I was a kid I was taught about Jesus and his love for all of us. But, when I started growing up, I perceived that the love of Jesus that my mother taught me “wasn’t such love”. I discovered that I was gay. I grew up thinking and believing that I was living a wrong live, and I was a sinner because of my homosexuality. Even, I got married in 1998, and divorced in 2000 when I decided to accept myself as a gay man.
But, it wasn’t until 2004 that I accepted that Jesus loves me just the way I am. When I think about what my mother taught me, have to consider didn’t became a mother knowing how to be a mother. And that she taught me what she learned first. Today she knows that I’m a gay man. I have her support, even when she doesn’t agree with my homosexuality. Now, among other things, I’m a member of one of Puerto Rico’s “open doors” churches. Those are not gay churches, but indeed are places where we can look for God without being judged for our homosexuality. For me, it’s a fact that Jesus died for all of us. We will never find any sacrifice like His.
Today I can proclaim that Jesus died for me; that I am in His divine plan. Can say that being a gay Christian is one the best things I have ever experience in my life. Have to say “THANK YOU” to my fiend S. for telling me about this forum. Will keep reading your comments. Receive my blessings from this GAY CHRISTIAN Puerto Rican man. PD: My English is not necessarily the best lol.
I’m not a lesbian. I may be called a “straight” person. But one who was so “crooked” in life that only Jesus and His Mercy could give me purpose and a new life. And He did! I firmly believe that God is love, therefore, I do not see God as a god who would marginalize. In fact, in many instances of the bible we see Jesus breaking everybody’s standards of “correctness” and ideas of “the law”. I wish to understand more about human sexuality develpment to help christians that are currently debating with these issues. I know that God loves ALL of us and is willing to reconcile us with a better version of us; one that agrees with His original purpose for humankind. Jesus came with a purpose of unity and reconciliation not to segregate upon our “orientations”. I certainly believe that a persona with a different sexual orientation than mine can receive Jesus in his or her heart and His light upon him/her. Jesus told us in Luke 4:18-19: 18-”The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,
19 – To preach the acceptable year of the Lord”.
God bless us all in our diversities and adversities!
Just ask Jesus. I’m sure he’ll say yes.
Just ask Jesus. He’ll say ‘Yes’.