President Obama's "Long Form" birth certificateThe “question” of whether or not then-Senator Barack Obama was a US citizen has been a lingering twist of bathroom tissue on his heel ever since Hillary Clinton supporter Phil Berg filed the first lawsuit during the 2008 primaries. For his part, President Obama has (very correctly) dismissed the birthers as the kooks they are; wingnuts who will look under every rock in the vain quest to find proof that he’s not a natural born citizen.

That quest led them into filing scores of lawsuits. Some were filed by former opponents (including one by former US Senate opponent Alan Keyes, Jr.). Others were filed by right-wing opportunists. The latest was filed in Atlanta, a desperate attempt to have some kind of birther case stick against the President. In state after state, court after court, the arguments crashed against their own weight like a sad, pathetic house of cards. In this case, the court ruled that Obama was indeed born in Hawaii, and is indeed eligible to run for President of the United States.

The legal defeats have done nothing but galvanize the birthers. One would think that they would get their heads out of their collective rears, and figure out that they are just plain nuts. But then, the fact that they’re nuts is why they have their heads in their collective rears in the first place.

But I digress.

The President, for his part, downplayed the entire mess. As a politician, he knew how to play his cards well, and he had the one ace that would show these fools up once and for all. He waited for three years, letting the movement gain plenty of steam. Finally, it reached a fever pitch when The Donald himself jumped on the all-too-rickety birther wagon.

Now that the movement had a national following, and was on the lips of every American thanks to Trump’s interviews with the View and his asinine insistence to see the President’s birth certificate. Finally, just before the 2012 primary season began its full swing, President Obama played his ace. He released copies of his original, “long-form” birth certificate. It was a masterstroke of political genius, one that would show his birther opponents to be the fools they are.

Despite this effort, though, the lawsuits continued. Even Joseph Farah, whose website, World Nut Daily… er… World Net Daily, is a steaming pile of birther dogmatic nonsense. And it shows no sign of letting up. Obama’s presentation of his birth certificate was within days of the release of their flagship book, Where’s the Birth Certificate by Jerome Corsi. They immediately began work on a follow-up, Where’s the REAL Birth Certificate? 

The latest wingnut to make noise about the birth certificate is Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio, currently under investigation for a plethora of civil rights violations. He’s formed a posse to “investigate” the President’s eligibility to serve as president. Yes, you read that right. A posse. Apparently, the “findings” are going to be “shocking” when they’re released on March 1st. Yawn.

Apparently, they’re going to find a way to prove that a document — that no person other than the President himself can retrieve — is a fraud. Good luck with that, Joe.

Two of the latest lawsuits to be tossed out of court were in areas that are known to be sympathetic to birtherism. One was in Georgia, the other in Virginia. Both judges dismissed their respective cases. With celebrity wingnut birther “attorney” Orly Taitz in tow (who lost the Georgia case to an empty table), the cases were filed to prevent the President from appearing on the 2012 ballot.

The gist behind all of these cases are simple. They believe that the President was not actually born in Hawaii. Or, even if he was, he’s not a true American citizen because both of his parents were not citizens. His father was Kenyan. His birth certificate was photoshopped. It wasn’t the “long form.” Whatever.

In every single case — all of these points were completely dismantled. None of the “expert” witnesses were credible as experts, they had no credentials, and the plaintiffs never measured up to the burden of evidence that was needed to convince courts that the President was not eligible to serve.

It’s plainly obvious that the President has nothing to worry about from Sheriff Arpaio or any other conspiracy theorist out there looking to capitalize on this long- and often-debunked theory.

The tinfoil hats are still out there, alas. But hey, there are still plenty of people who think the moon landing was fake, too. One thing is for certain — this is going to be an interesting year.

God, I love this country. Idiots and all.