I’ve had this tune in my head for a while. The “Chim Chim Cheroo” number from Mary Poppins. Whenever a hate group leader like Tony Perkins or some other bigoted clod starts in on their anti-gay blathering, or when some end-times prophet tries to equate President Obama with some obscure Bible prophecy, I put a new twist on that old, fun little ditty (And yes, this is original to me. If you re-post, please link and credit properly).

These lyrics are dedicated to Stacey Campfield, Tony Perkins, Robert Knight, William Tapley (otherwise known as the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse, or the Co-Prophet of the End Times), Bryan Fischer, Maggie Gallagher, and anyone else who’s just batshit crazy.

For those of us who are Christian, but a little less uptight, enjoy. For anyone offended by the word “batshit,” well, I humbly ask your forgiveness. If you think I’ve written this song about you, then… well… you’re probably right.

BatShittery

(To the Tune of Chim Chim Cheroo)

By David W. Shelton

Batshittery, batshittery, Bat-shit-er-yyyyy!
A kook is as crazy, as crazy can be!
Batshittery, batshittery, Bat-shit-er-ooo!
Good God, you’re nutso,
a whack job, a tool!

It’s all too easy to see two plus two!

You claim that you’re Christian, but you’re just plain dumb,
Blaming your hate on God, that’s just bat dung
Now, Lying about gays is just blowing smoke
Because we all know, gays are happy ol’ blokes.

Batshittery, batshittery, Bat-shit-er-yyyyy!
A kook is as crazy, as crazy can be!
Batshittery, batshittery, Bat-shit-er-ooo!
Good God, you’re nutso,
a whack job, a tool!

Jealous you are about gay pride, yes you are
You wanna join in, and jump on your car
And dance on the float with those lovely queens
But then you realize that you would pro’lly be seen

There’s hardly no way, you’ll ever come out,
But you’re just as gay as a rainbow trout
But you’ve bought your ticket, Lies — all you shout!

Batshittery, batshittery, Bat-shit-er-yyyyy!
When you’re with a kook, you’re in sad company,
Nowhere will there be more nuts to see
Then them who are bat shit crazy, bat shit are you!
Oh, the batshit crazy, batshittery, bat shit that’s you!

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