One of the most frequent, yet egregious lies told in any discussion regarding gay rights is that equality opponents say they’re labeled as bigots merely because of their “disagreement.” Nothing could be further from the truth. At this point, it’s become quite obvious that opponents to equality know full well that they are attempting hide from the rest of us the reality that “disagreement” is really a code word for “I don’t want to think about gay sex, so I’ll fight against your basic human rights with every ounce of my being.”

We hear this misnomer in debates and discussions all the time when LGBT equality is discussed. My favorite is this one:

“I’m so tired of being called a bigot just because I disagree with gay marriage.”

Just for fun, let’s replace the phrase “gay marriage” with “desegregation.” See how far that gets you in a conversation. Instantly, the harsh reality comes into play. If a person were to “disagree” with desegregation, it becomes clear that they support separating blacks and whites to the point that they can’t even drink from the same water fountain.

“Disagreeing” with marriage equality is no different. While those who “disagree” attempt to paint their abject opposition to allowing LGBT couples to marry as if it’s just a general dislike, the truth is clear. They will fight tooth and nail to keep us from enjoying the 1000-plus rights that heterosexual couples have with a $50 marriage license.

Quite simply, “disagreement” is when a man might say, “I couldn’t marry a guy.” When that person says, “I don’t want any other man to marry a guy,” especially when such a union would have absolutely no effect on their own marriage or marriage status, that becomes entirely different: oppression.

When you say, “you disagree with marriage equality,” this is a list some of the things you’re really saying:

“I believe you should never have any stability in your relationship.”

“Go back to having sex in the woods.”

“Your relationship is completely invalid.”

“My religious beliefs are more important than your basic human right to marry.* Even though you don’t share my religious beliefs.”

“I will use every bit of my strength and my organization’s political might to keep you from being able to marry.”

So stop with the charade of pretending to merely “disagree.” Either admit you’re an oppressor or get over yourself and realize that human rights and the first amendment right to association are not a subject that’s open to discussion.

I’m truly saddened that so many people have deluded themselves (and others) into believing that they just “disagree” with marriage equality and gay rights. The reality is that truly believe that gays should just shut up and accept their second class citizenship.

You’re not being labeled as a bigot just because you “disagree” with marriage equality. You’re being labeled as a bigot because you’re fighting marriage equality with everything you’ve got — your religion, your politics, and your vote — because you are a bigot.

Please. Stop using the word “disagreement” to describe your opposition to LGBT equality. It doesn’t fit.


*In the landmark 1967 decision Loving v Virginia, the United States Supreme Court ruled that marriage is a basic human right.

Tagged with →