We must defend the family! The radical homosexual activists are out to destroy the family! They want to tear apart the very fabric of society! The sky is falling! The radical homosexual activists are out to destroy the sky! We must protect the family from the … okay, you get the idea.

In every article, commentary, TV appearance, and other media blowhard bit, the hate groups and “family” defenders generally have a few major catchphrases that are designed — not to share the truth of the situation — but to frighten people into a) giving them power and b) giving them money. The tragedy of it is, it works all too well. Let’s start with the obvious. Of all the anti-gay groups and hate groups (there is a difference between the two, but their lines are getting more and more blurred these days), the most prominent ones have the word “family” in them:

First, the anti-gay:

  • Focus on the Family
  • Family Action Council of Tennessee
  • Florida Family Association

Now the SPLC-certified hate groups:

  • Family Research Council
  • Family Research Institute
  • American Family Association
  • Illinois Family Institute
  • United Families International

Family. Family. Family. Their tactics are simple: Frighten supporters into thinking that these “radical homosexual activists” are out to stach away their little boys and destroy their families with their evil, interior decorator ways. No matter their stated goals, these organizations have specific goals that are quite clear:

  • Prevent or eliminate LGBT civil equality.
  • Obliterate marriage equality
  • Eliminate LGBT exposure in media
  • Eliminate profanity from mass media

While this list is enough to keep any reich wing group busy, it’s certainly not exhaustive. For the purpose of this article, I’ll leave their anti abortion, anti-women, anti-Muslim and anti-immigrant agendas for another time.

One Million Moms, an offshoot of the American Family Association, has been one of the more vocal groups over the years in their effort to sterilize society from any unsavory elements. Recently, they returned to the spotlight with their demand that JC Penney fire Ellen Degeneres as a spokesperson because she’s a lesbian.

Now that new catalogs and web campaigns have reached the marketplace, they’re back with their demands — all while complaining that JC Penney isn’t “neutral in the culture war.” It’s a “war” that OMM and their “family” allies are intent on waging — all in the name of “defending the family.” It’s as if they insist that corporations stay on the sidelines while these “pro-family” allies do all they can to wipe out their enemies: gays, feminists, liberals, Muslims, and people who cuss.

For a little comparison, imagine a group of bullies that demand that other school kids remain neutral while they beat that poor little queer to a pulp.

Let’s be clear. I’m not talking about battles that these groups might wage one day. These are battles they’re engaged in right now. Their number one effort right now is to strip or prevent any form of equality for LGBT Americans. This is pure, undeniable fact. It’s also undeniable that they wage this battle “to defend the family.”

When they send out their fundraising letters, their language hits right to the core of right-wing fears. For example, here’s a tidbit from one of Eugene Delgaudio’s latest appeals:

The Family desperately needs help in Washington State.

You see, the Washington State legislature has forced homosexual “marriage” upon its citizens, despite overwhelming opposition.

The only way to prevent the law from going into effect is if enough Washington voters sign Initiative I-1192 — also known as Marriage = One Man + One Woman.

The problem is the sheer number of signatures that must be collected before the deadline… nearly 300,000 by July 6th.

The people of Washington know that real marriage is between one man and one woman — but unless they get enough signatures to place this decision on the November ballot their voices will never be heard by the politicians.

My friend, this is a fight the Family cannot afford to lose.

Delgaudio’s own hate group, Public Advocate of the United States, regularly sends out fundraising appeals that are little more than fictitious, manipulative screeds designed to scare blue-haired old ladies out of their money.

To Delgaudio, “The Family” will apparently be destroyed if same-sex couples are able to benefit from marriage equality. Never mind the fact that there’s not a shred of truth in this concept, it works for fundraising. These evil, twisted organizations actively engage in convincing their supporters that their nuclear family will be utterly destroyed if the gay couple down the street gets hitched.

Then there’s Scott Lively. I’ve resisted writing about him, but he — like most hate group leaders — are engaged in a contest of who can hate the homos the most. Lively is best known for his bile-filled book of well-documented lies, The Pink Swastika. In the book, he claims that it was “homosexuals” who led the push toward the brutality that the Nazis became known for and heavily downplays the fact that thousands of “homosexuals” were killed in extermination camps.

Lively’s damning, lie-filled testimony about gays in Uganda led to the creation of that country’s infamous “Kill the Gays Bill,” which calls for capital punishment for certain types of gay sexual relationships. As of right now, the bill has not yet been passed, but the push continues.

Lively’s hate group, Abiding Truth Ministries, has been listed as a hate group by the SPLC for a few years. As a reminder, these groups are listed as hate groups because they regularly dispense known falsehoods about LGBT people in order to demonize or marginalize them. It has nothing to do with their “Christian beliefs.” After all, lying is not a “Christian belief.”

So why do I mention his group? Simple. Since another church has the domain “AbidingTruthMinistries.org,” Lively had to think of something else: DefendtheFamily.com. Browse the site for just a few moments (which is all most rational people can stomach), and it’s quite obvious what keeps him up at night: the gays. 

Lively’s three books include a screed to somehow prevent “recruitment” of children, and another “comprehensive textbook” that’s intended to be a “Christian” response to the “Gay” (note the scare quotes around Gay) agenda. It’s in the introduction of this book that Lively spews his vitriolic message:

The “gay” goal for society is to replace Judeo-Christian sexual morality (monogamous heterosexual marriage and the natural family) with an alternative moral system that embraces “sexual freedom.”  They know they can have no real acceptance in a society which restricts sex to authentic marriage, so “gay” activists have worked, literally for generations, to destroy marriage-based culture — by aggressively promoting heterosexual promiscuity and fostering hostility against the chief opponent of promiscuity, the Christian church.  As respect for family values and Christianity has declined, their own political power, as champions of “sexual freedom,” has increased proportionally.

Of course, there’s absolutely no truth to any of this. The true goal for LGBT people is simply to have equal rights under the law. We’re not interested in other people’s families, just our own. And seriously, we don’t need to attack “marriage-based culture.” Brittany Spears, Larry King, Newt Gingrich, Elizabeth Taylor, and Kim Kardashian have all done that far more than we ever could.

If that last paragraph was bad enough, consider the following, closing paragraph of the introduction:

We have watched the destructive consequences of “sexual freedom” unfold in Western Civilization for many years now without recognizing the “gay” movement as its driving force.  Now the church must wake up to the reality that the so-called “culture war” is, more than anything else, a contest between the opposing and contradictory philosophies of activist homosexuals and Christians. And we must act accordingly, despite the fact that they, and those they have duped, will call us “haters.”

No, Scott. The “culture war” is a bunch of blowhard bigots like you who are fighting with every fiber of your being to oppress, suppress, and criminalize people just because they’re gay. You insist that your “rights are being infringed” when you’re told that you can’t throw the fags in jail like you clearly want to.

Finally, Scott, we call you a “hater” because you are a hater. Your entire “ministry” is all about how much you hate gay people, and you are too blinded by your own bigotry to see this simple reality.

To be “pro-family,” one must be “anti-gay.” It’s a completely false dichotomy that has defined the debate in all the wrong terms. The fact is that America is changing. We are becoming more informed about issues that impact our friends and families.

As I write this, news of the results from today’s election in North Carolina are rolling in. CNN declared that the new marriage amendment passed with 61% of the vote. Considering that just a few years ago, Tennessee passes a similar measure with 81% of the vote, it’s clear that minds are indeed changing. Not enough, alas.

Thankfully, though, because America is shifting toward equality, the voices of opposition are becoming fewer and far between. As a result, the only voices left are the extremists and hate groups. What makes this trend more disturbing is the fact that the hate groups are getting more vile and more venomous in their attacks. As I wrote earlier this week, it’s a sign of desperation.

These groups are clearly not interested in “defending the family.” Their agenda is right there in black and white. These hate groups are doing all they can to manipulate their easily-scared donors into writing big checks to prevent the “radical homosexual agenda,” while suppressing the truth about their own hateful agenda.

They’re not defending the family, they’re destroying families. They’re destroying families that are comprised of single moms and dads, two moms, two dads, or families of just a couple who can’t legally marry because of the work of people like Lively, Delgaudio, Tony Perkins, Tim Wildmon, and other anti-gay leaders.

And they lie about it. A lot.

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