Conservative health care plan: Don’t get sick. If you do get sick, die quickly. Eat well, be healthy, and exercise. If you don’t, I don’t care if you’re sick. You brought it on yourself.
Conservative HIV care: Don’t have gay sex. If you do have gay sex, you probably deserved getting HIV. I shouldn’t have to pay for your depravity.
Conservative abortion plan: Don’t have sex. If you do have sex, make sure you’re married. If you have sex, then you’re responsible for giving birth. You brought it on yourself.
Conservative food stamp plans: Why should I have to pay for your food? You’re the one who had all those kids. Feed ’em yourself. I shouldn’t have to pay for your lack of responsibility.
Conservative job plan: Give money to big companies so that they can hire more people, despite the fact that they are cutting jobs to remain “efficient” and inflate the “bottom line.” It’s your fault you don’t have a good job. Maybe you need to get educated.
Conservative education plan: What do you mean you can’t afford college? Go work three part time jobs so that you can pay your tuition and any child care you need so that you can get your education. I shouldn’t have to pay for your lack of drive to get educated.
Conservative ideology summed up: I have mine. Screw you.
And this, friends, is why I will never, ever support “conservative” anything, ever again. As citizens, we are responsible for each other.