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Skipping to the Piccolo
  • Home
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Posts / View All
  • New York City Skyline as seen from Jersey City. Photo by David W. Shelton

    Remembering the September 11, 2001 attacks

    September 12, 2019
  • Unification: Rise of the Thunderblade

    Unification: Rise of the Thunderblade

    May 8, 2019
  • Battlestar Galactica and the quest for a great story

    May 6, 2019
  • Image copyright by CBS/Paramount Pictures.

    Lessons from Star Trek are timeless

    March 9, 2019
  • Star Blazers: The power of a great story

    March 5, 2019
  • Finger pointing at viewer while holding a Bible

    “I am a Christian, therefore…”

    February 26, 2019
  • Same-sex marriage rights under attack again in Tennessee

    February 17, 2019
  • The Irony of “Keep Christ in Christmas”

    December 22, 2018
  • GLAAD poll finds LGBTQ support slipping

    January 28, 2018
  • Adam West (1928-2017)

    June 10, 2017

Delgaudio’s ‘Stormy Night’ Email Re-Enacted

By David W. Shelton On January 13, 2014 · Add Comment · In General Commentaries, Humor
When Eugene Delgaudio writes, no one listens. No one, that is, except the little old ladies he cons into writing him checks every year — and the few of us that chortle at his asinine claims. A few times a year, he puts out a slightly revised version of his "Stormy Night" story where long-haired gay men with earrings mock him as runs out of a warehouse filled with bulging boxes.
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David Shelton, circa 1988

Time Travel Conversations with My Teenage Self

By David W. Shelton On October 6, 2013 · 15 Comments · In General Commentaries, Humor

Every sci-fi nerd has the wild, crazy dream of time travel. For those of us who have held that fantasy, the one person we middle-aged geeks would love to meet is a younger version of ourselves. My blatherings today are of such a dream, and is the conversation that I might have should I ever ride along with a madman in a blue box or slingshot around the sun at high warp velocities.

My exact time would be October of 1988, twenty-five years ago. I would have been 17 then, filled with every bit of hope for a better life and all of the frustrations of being a teenager in the late 1980s. Let me tell you about this boy, the teenager named David Shelton.

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Eugene Delgaudio Lies, Hopes We Won’t Notice

By David W. Shelton On November 30, 2012 · 2 Comments · In Hate Groups, Humor
Frankly, I don't know what it is about Eugene Delgaudio that keeps me so utterly fascinated. From where I sit, it could be because of one of two things. One: he lives in a complete fantasy world where he actually has relevance, and two: that he has people who donate to his little SPLC-certified hate group that think he has relevance.
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JCPenney Gay Dads

One Million Moms: A Little Perspective, Please?

By David W. Shelton On June 17, 2012 · 4 Comments · In Hate Groups, Humor
Earlier this month, the media went abuzz with the oh-so-surprising outrage from One Million Moms who were furious... FURIOUS... that JC Penny would have a gay couple in their June catalog. This, on the heels of having Ellen Degeneres and her ... gasp!... WIFE... in the May issue. Scandalous! Horrific! Children EVERYWHERE will be turned into gays and lesbians!
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Marriage Wars: The Phantom Menace

By David W. Shelton On May 11, 2012 · 1 Comment · In Gay Marriage, Hate Groups, Humor, News
Coming soon to a bigot near you! When President Barack Obama made international news by announcing his support for marriage equality (what the other side calls “gay marriage”), reaction from the “religious right” was as swift as it was explosive. Fox Nation immediately (and famously) posted a headline “OBAMA FLIP FLOPS, DECLARES WAR ON MARRIAGE.” Minutes later, the headline was changed to the only slightly less asinine “OBAMA FLIP FLOPS ON MARRIAGE.” But, the damage was done. War has been declared. It is a declaration of war against an institution that has been consistently and radically changed from its God-intended format: old men paying other old men for wives for their sons.
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Batshittery: a tune for our hate group friends

By David W. Shelton On February 20, 2012 · 1 Comment · In Humor
I've had this tune in my head for a while. The "Chim Chim Cheroo" number from Mary Poppins. Whenever a hate group leader like Tony Perkins or some other bigoted clod starts in on their anti-gay blathering, or when some end-times prophet tries to equate President Obama with some obscure Bible prophecy, I put a new twist on that old, fun little ditty (And yes, this is original to me. If you re-post, please link and credit properly):
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One Million Moms against Ellen DeGeneres

By David W. Shelton On February 6, 2012 · 11 Comments · In General Commentaries, Hate Groups, Humor
When news that comedian Ellen DeGeneres was hired by JC Penney to become their new spokesperson, most Americans either didn’t really care, or thought it was a pretty good fit. After all, her wardrobe is very casual, and looks like it could be pulled from the rack at any Penney store. She’s smart, funny, stylish, [...]
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Pun of the Day

By David W. Shelton On January 30, 2012 · Add Comment · In Humor
If William Shakespeare were around today, would he have used a pen or a keybard?
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Pun of the day

By David W. Shelton On January 2, 2012 · Add Comment · In Humor
The Manhattan project was famous for its creation of the atomic bomb. Once the fission process was established, and that it would indeed produce the desired results, they were given a special congratulations from the President...
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Political grinch of the day: Marsha Blackburn

By David W. Shelton On December 23, 2011 · 3 Comments · In Humor, Politics
While it’s no secret that I’ve got no love for the right-wing stretch of today’s GOP, I’m flat-out disgusted with the rampant lies and distortion that is quickly becoming the norm. Since it’s the Christmas season, it’s easy to spot the political grinches who will not only distort facts, but use the holiday season for [...]
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Bad pun of the day

By David W. Shelton On December 19, 2011 · Add Comment · In Humor
Okay, we know the despot of North Korea is dead. Looks like he really was Il.
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Did Legos make me gay?

By David W. Shelton On December 17, 2011 · Add Comment · In Humor
Now I’ve heard it all. Good thing it’s satire. The crazy thing is, that when I read a post that says that a preacher says that Legos make people gay, it’s not all that hard to believe it actually happened. “Legos look innocent,” he stated, “but they are more devious than they appear.  You might [...]
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The Attack of the Monday Monster!

By David W. Shelton On July 6, 2008 · Add Comment · In General Commentaries, Humor
Note: this piece was previously published in a slightly different form in 1999. The golden morning sun poured into the bedroom as I arose for yet another week. Life had once again welcomed a new day sure to be filled with excitement, challenges and more of the same routine experiences of every day life. Or [...]
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Raiders of the Lost Pizza

By David W. Shelton On June 6, 2008 · 4 Comments · In Humor
The air in the ancient Sicilian cave was cold and stale. I could see the faint hint of the vapors of my breath in the light of my torch in the near-fifty degree temperature. I turned the corner, and realized that this wasn’t just a cave, it was a long-lost prehistoric firebrick kitchen that had [...]
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  • About Skipping to the Piccolo

    David W. Shelton is a writer, graphic designer, activist, and business owner. He currently lives in Clarksville, TN, and has had works appear in The Leaf-Chronicle, The Advocate, The Tennessean, and Impact Magazine.
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